Total trust in a total God

For anyone who doesn't know, I spent a week at the Dream Center, a mission in the middle of L.A. that is all about meeting people's physical needs, such as food and water and clothes, as well as spiritual needs... Jesus.

There are more than 200 different outreaches at the Dream Center. I saved up money for months to go there for a week, and I barely put a dent in their weekly activity. We went on two or three missions each day, with as little as five people joining us or as many as forty. Our first mission was evangelizing at a college in Pasadena, and the Holy Spirit took off like a rocket for the rest of the week. From visiting retirement homes and teaching very old people about the fruit of the spirit, to going down to Skid Row, the most poorest and most dangerous part of Los Angeles, the Dream Center kept us pretty busy. I learned pretty quickly that if I wanted to make a difference, I had to let the Holy Spirit do the talking. My own words and wisdom will never be good enough to bring people to the Lord. It amazes me how the people who work at the Dream Center do what we did every single day. Hundreds of people actually live there, and reach out day after day, week after week, letting God pursue people through them. That's something I want.

What I got out of my time at the Dream Center for myself is so much more than I could have possibly offered the city of L.A. Being in such a massive city full of so many broken hearts, so much poverty, and so much lack of God, has given me a real drive for life. I don't want to get a pat on the back and a job well done because I helped lead people to Jesus for a week... I want to go somewhere messed up, and live there. I'm ready to forget my candy-apple life and make all the 'necessities' of life unnecessary luxuries. My car, my job, my money, my food, my room, my music, my new wolf t-shirt... nothing matters anymore. I want to be a fearless warrior that takes risks and does whatever, goes wherever God tells me. And serving the Lord with three awesome guys for a week, and bonding with another church group, made me feel jealous... community is something I want. I see how much better things could be for me, and I keep saying 'that's what I want' over and over in my mind and out loud, like a broken record. If God doesn't speak up soon, I'm going to have to make a change.

Sitting here in my room, typing on my computer, life seems so easy. I can't just walk away from this experience and say, 'that was good'. These next couple of months are going to be a breeze.