I'm right, and you're wrong

Fact: we all waste time by arguing with each other about things that don't matter. In fact, we even waste time arguing about things that DO matter. I have decided that there is a difference between arguing and challenging someone's beliefs, perspectives, thought process... their faith. Even if we think we can justify arguing with someone because it's an important subject, the fact remains that we are only satisfying each other's need to argue and be right. I don't even care if you're talking about salvation with a homeless person, because there is a door to get in, you don't have to try to break down the walls.

Have you noticed that if you disagree with somebody, trying to prove that you are the one who is right doesn't work all too well? I feel pretty convicted about this myself. I am learning that there is a way to respond in love, and ask questions that you yourself have, instead of trying to force someone to think the way you do. I don't like to be proved wrong, and neither does anyone else. Let's be open to other voices, take things into consideration, but most importantly, don't make everything people tell you your own beliefs. Unless, perhaps, that person is God. Does that make sense?

I've been thinking a lot about the bible and what it means to each person. I'm quite disappointed that there are so many different denominations of the church, but it's a perfect example of what I am thinking about all the time. It's all about relationship, not religion. We've bantered back and forth our whole lives, arguing over things that appear to be very important, and they are, but my thought is that many topics discussed are relevant only to a small handful of people, or even more often, a single person. Let me explain a little better.

If we read the bible just for the stories, if we just read it like a book, it's a decent book, albeit how confusing and contradictory it is. But when I read the bible, I ask God to provide me with knowledge, with His insight. Insight is, after all, knowledge provided by the Lord. So if I am thinking a lot about how my life is difficult and how to deal with it, and then God brings me to the book of Job, or even a single verse, telling me exactly what I need to hear, my day/life in general are totally illuminated with peace, contentment, and true joy that can only be provided by God. But the thing is, I got a completely different conclusion from what I read than the next guy who reads it. Read my entry entitle 'helicopter ride'. I now believe that God does not control me, but he puts people and 'happenings' in my life, knowing how I will react to it. He creates an effect and cause that is all part of His plan for me.

All this to say that maybe there isn't just one right answer to many questions. Certainly not all of them. Perhaps God has given me this insight and it's only for me, but somehow I doubt it.

Total trust in a total God

For anyone who doesn't know, I spent a week at the Dream Center, a mission in the middle of L.A. that is all about meeting people's physical needs, such as food and water and clothes, as well as spiritual needs... Jesus.

There are more than 200 different outreaches at the Dream Center. I saved up money for months to go there for a week, and I barely put a dent in their weekly activity. We went on two or three missions each day, with as little as five people joining us or as many as forty. Our first mission was evangelizing at a college in Pasadena, and the Holy Spirit took off like a rocket for the rest of the week. From visiting retirement homes and teaching very old people about the fruit of the spirit, to going down to Skid Row, the most poorest and most dangerous part of Los Angeles, the Dream Center kept us pretty busy. I learned pretty quickly that if I wanted to make a difference, I had to let the Holy Spirit do the talking. My own words and wisdom will never be good enough to bring people to the Lord. It amazes me how the people who work at the Dream Center do what we did every single day. Hundreds of people actually live there, and reach out day after day, week after week, letting God pursue people through them. That's something I want.

What I got out of my time at the Dream Center for myself is so much more than I could have possibly offered the city of L.A. Being in such a massive city full of so many broken hearts, so much poverty, and so much lack of God, has given me a real drive for life. I don't want to get a pat on the back and a job well done because I helped lead people to Jesus for a week... I want to go somewhere messed up, and live there. I'm ready to forget my candy-apple life and make all the 'necessities' of life unnecessary luxuries. My car, my job, my money, my food, my room, my music, my new wolf t-shirt... nothing matters anymore. I want to be a fearless warrior that takes risks and does whatever, goes wherever God tells me. And serving the Lord with three awesome guys for a week, and bonding with another church group, made me feel jealous... community is something I want. I see how much better things could be for me, and I keep saying 'that's what I want' over and over in my mind and out loud, like a broken record. If God doesn't speak up soon, I'm going to have to make a change.

Sitting here in my room, typing on my computer, life seems so easy. I can't just walk away from this experience and say, 'that was good'. These next couple of months are going to be a breeze.

I keep my eyes wide open all the time

After dropping Daniel off this morning, I felt so free. The Holy Spirit swept over me like a cloud filled with stale, odorless fruit, and it suddenly hit me: I'm going to L.A. tomorrow. Actually today now. I am going to change people's lives, and especially my own. I rarely feel like I did driving home this morning. I felt as though God had fixed everything for a little while, for a couple of hours. But feelings are not discerned often enough. We have to stop and think about why we feel certain ways. I realized that the way I felt in the car was one of those feelings I get when everything is going exactly the way I want it to. But it's almost as if feelings have flavors... I could practically taste this Holy Ghost in the car, yet I had a sudden revelation that made me feel selfish and lucky. Feelings are one of the most interesting parts of life... they're entertaining and totally underrated. We just have to stop ourselves sometimes when our feelings might get us into trouble, or we are thinking too hard about something. Our minds try to figure things out.