Excuse my absence from the blogging, my story has been fairly boring for the past while, at least, boring enough to not have much to write about. But I have been thinking deeply about the body of Christ -- God's people -- and how I am connected to the body.
It's been a long time since I have been 'plugged in' to a church, but I was thinking about this today, and realized that I never actually was plugged in. Not the way I should have been. I hadn't even begun a real relationship with God when my family and I went to church. I attended various vineyards throughout my life. I visited with my friends, learned about some stories in the bible and forgot it later that day, and I may have even had a chance to help some homeless people for a couple of hours one Sunday... foiled. (Dad, I hope you know what I am talking about and are laughing right now).
So where am I at now? I love God, and am closer with Him now than ever before, and I listen for his voice, and try to learn about him and his nature every single day. Which is great. It's the best. But what about other people? I know that others care about me, however, why is it that I reach out so far to my peers and usually get little or nothing in return? What quality do I lack that makes me unwanted? Or maybe I'm not unwanted? If so, then why do I have to try so hard with people?
Of course, going back to church is the light bulb answer to my problems, but what I am hung up on is that people are the church. It's the people in the church that are the church, not the church establishment. Relying on weekly meetings, like sunday morning service and youth group, for a community of friends, really bothers me. We should spend time with God and have a strong relationship with him, but what about all the people around us? We should not put up these church walls and channel all of our social energy and attention to the people of this box.
My most important question here, the burning question, is how does Nate Fifield live in a community of friends that reach back to him? God must have put me in this place for a reason, and I suspect He is the only one who can answer me. Maybe I'm very, very lost, maybe I'm being a stubborn mule, or maybe I'm not listening hard enough for God's voice, but what I do know for sure, is that things are not right. And the truth is that they haven't been for a long time, and I want to figure it out.
I like what you've written here. I share some of your views about what it means to live in community and I'm seeking answers to some of the same questions. I'm 47 and I don't have the answers.
ReplyDeleteI think what is important about attending a church meeting, in a building, on some day of the week, is the whole worshiping togetherness thing, and being able to glean advice/knowledge/insight/wisdom/encouragement from all types of people. It is the easiest way to connect with people who share what you believe-- this only can happen if you attend at a congregation where you respect/support the beliefs of all who attend.
ReplyDeleteIt is not the only way, just the easiest. ... i'll write more later.
finals! yay!
The thing you want is authentic relationship with believers. I love that, and you have always been like that, since you were little, really. You CAN find it in a structure/church building sort of situation, but it takes much maturity to sort through all the crap that comes with it. From the message to the politics and beyond, you have to discern God's voice above the din of flesh. THAT is a task that is not for the fainthearted.
ReplyDeleteI don't know that I should support everyone's beliefs, I mean, one lady at a church I went to shared a 'conviction' she had, basically saying that if you aren't saved by the time you are about sixteen or seventeen, you are lost forever and will never have God, and so she was so thankful the youth group blah blah blah... I don't know why, but I feel that going to to church is totally the wrong thing for me. Believe me, I so want to, I desire to be part of a church more than almost anything, it's in my top five list for sure, but at the same time, I grit my teeth thinking about it and then I'd rather eat playground dirt or something. I am so totally on the fence about everything in this entire subject, in fact I am practically jumping over the fence and then turning around and jumping back over it
ReplyDelete